So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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