She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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