I think my fart just growled at me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
