Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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