so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
