I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was born a porn star she said
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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