just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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