i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
