Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
