hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
