but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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