i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
false alarm. still invincible.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
