i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
