She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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