He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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