READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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