I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
