Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
