Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
