i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
cat food counts as protein by the way
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
