paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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