would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
