I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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