So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
