Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
