beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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