Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
