i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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