I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's like heaven, but drunker
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
