I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
