Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Enjoy the penises
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
