You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
