its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
