Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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