Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
