So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
