I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
