i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
