I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
