it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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