Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
