So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
