He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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