There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
