That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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