I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
