I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
