BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
