Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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