babies were throwing up all over the place
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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