I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
