But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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