I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
