Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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