then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
