I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
