I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
