If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
