"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
