ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She said her name was "party"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
