He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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