I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
